News > Watchmen Cast Revealed! It's Mostly Crap!
Written by Anthony Burch
Watchmen is probably my single favorite literary work I've ever read. It's an epic-yet-intimate graphic novel about life, love, morality, and stardom, and it is without a doubt the greatest comic ever written.
That said, I'm not one of those fans who necessarily scoffs at any and all attempts to adapt it. I would love to see any film adaptation, so long as it remains faithful to the comic and keeps the emotional core intact. When I heard that Zack Snyder, director of the kinda-pretty but disgustingly-vapid 300, was to helm a version of Watchmen relying heavily on green screen, I was worried.
Now that The Hollywood Reporter has released
the official cast, I know my fears were right – for the most part, the cast is
far too young, which should tell you where the film's allegiances lie. Here goes:
Patrick Wilson: Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl
The only cast member I'm really happy with. Wilson may be a bit too young and a bit too pretty to play the aging Dreiberg, but Wilson's pretty good at playing a sad, self-pitying guys and Dreiberg is most certainly that.
Jackie Earle Haley: Walter Kovacs/Rorschach
I know literally nothing about Jackie Earle Haley, but he's certainly ugly and scary-looking enough to play Rorschach: he'll obviously have to gain some weight for the role, but it's too early to pass judgement on literally the only cast member who seems to be of an appropriate age for his role.
Matthew Goode: Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias
Adrian Veidt is a grown man with a long, full life and a thriving commercial empire. Matthew Goode looks approximately twelve years old. This is a big problem, considering what happens to Veidt and what he does later on: his wisdom and power come from a man who was born a genius, but who has since been exposed to the harsh realities of the world. Casting the 29-year-old Goode was a mistake.
Billy Crudup: Jon Osterman/Doc Manhattan
Not bad – Crudup's a pretty good actor, and his looks really don't matter considering Manhattan spends nearly the entirety of the story as an ageless, featureless blue God. Still, I'll have a hell of a hard time hearing Manhattan's voice without thinking of the phrase, "Saving the world from total destruction…priceless."
Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Edward Blake/The Comedian
He certainly looks haggard enough, and while he isn't as old as the Comedian, that's nothing a little makeup can't fix. You know, maybe I was wrong to judge Snyder: after all, he did cast Crudup and Wilson, and Haley doesn't look that bad. Maybe I'm being too hard on him.
Malin Akerman: Sally Jupiter/Silk Spectre
Wait, I forgot. Instead of casting an older, established, realistically-attractive woman for the part of Sally Jupiter, Snyder decided on Malin Akerman, a 28-year-old blonde bombshell whose most notable role to date is that of "Redneck Slut Wife" in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.
Now, I don't want to be hard on Akerman and say she's a bad actress. While she's pretty much exclusively appeared in comedies up to this point, maybe she can really do drama. But to be completely honest, her acting skill is almost irrelevant: Sally Jupiter is a totally realistic female character suffering through failing marriage and a mid-life crisis. She may be one of the few female heroines in comic books who is attractive and strong without appearing to be an oversexed superbabe – the perfect character for a Jennifer Connelly or a Rachel Weisz. Casting Akerman in the role should really give a strong hint as to where Snyder's intentions lie. The high-profile cast that was thrown around a few months ago (Tom Cruise, Jude Law, etc) went away after the studio enforced a lower budget, which means lower-tier actors, less expensive setpieces, and so on. With that cast and money gone, Snyder has either simply settled on an actress like Akerman for the part of Jupiter, or he honestly just wants to turn Watchmen into "another comic book movie," replete with hot women and slow-mo action.
God damnit.
Comments
Remember, Sally Jupiter is 16 when we see her meeting Dr. Manhattan
There's a young, young Comedian who rapes her mother.
We see a lot of a young Dan Dreiberg.
And Adrien Veidt?
The book has almost two plot lines, several years apart.
The only reason why Rorschach is age appropriate is because we see Rorschach as a child (not going to cast that young), a young crime fighter, and an older, delusional vigilante. However, we only see him as a child and an older man without the mask.
Osterman is also seen as a child fixing a watch, and then as a man perhaps 30 years old. Billy Crudup looks that age.
And as far as acting goes, they're solid. Again, I don't know how Akerman will do, I've only seen her in comedic roles. However, she might be a Streep in the making! We don't know.
Firstly, calling the author an idiot based on his article above is, quite frankly, incredibly stupid. It also seems that you have not read the article. Anthony makes little to no comment on the film having to have A-List stars.
In my opinion he is right. In keeping with your view on artistic integrity, yes, I would prefer the film to have less known actors, but from reading the graphic novel I can say that I find it incredibly difficult to strike any comparison between cast and characters. Don't forget that the characters are retired masked vigilantes, for the most part, and would be early forties or late thirties. Ozymandias, especially, seems far too young for the role.
But to be perfectly honest, the actors look very little like the characters. It not just keeps artistic integrity to hire lesser known actors; hiring actors and actresses that looked like the characters they are meant to be portraying also helps.
I won't give my opinion on Akerman, as I feel the author has summarised my opinion perfectly.
Also, Laurie is a very sexual character in the book. Not an "oversexed superbabe", but someone who initiates sex with her male partners, flirts openly, and is definitely considered to be strikingly hot in the world she exists in (she self-references that when she talks about her costume). I don't know about Malin Akerman's acting abilities, but I don't think your reasons for disliking her casting make much sense in the context of the actual story.
Plus, now that we've seen actual footage, and reviews are coming in (from actual comic fans), I think it looks like Snyder did a good job. I agree that the casting was the big question mark in this, but I'll wait until I see it until I decide.
But...The glowing blue penis floating across the screen every 5 minutes ruined the movie.