Editorials > Top 10 Movie Scenes I've Come to Hate After Watching Them A Million Times

10. R. Lee Ermy Plays A Really Mean Guy - It’s funny that Ermy has essentially made a career out of playing the same character over and over again. As much as I like the idea of people getting their asses handed to them by some mean ole coot I think it’s time to change the tune.

Solution: Get the zombie of Walter Matthau to hand Ermy his ass. Comedy gold.

9. Heather Graham Naked – Never did I think I would complain about Graham’s apparent inability to keep her clothes on but man, does she really need to expose herself in every movie? I get it, you have a nice rack but does it have to be roller bladed around for me to know it? No.

Solution: Clothes dammit!

8. The “Slasher Comeback’…with the least reasonable explanation ever – Seriously, how many times can Jason or Freddy come back? And the “explanation” takes up a total screen time of like 30 seconds and it just involves them rising from their respective graves/resting place. Just because they suddenly jet upwards from a laying position or ram their hands out of topsoil doesn’t mean that we, the viewers, are going to accept their return…or maybe it does.

Solution: PLOTTING.

7, “I’m a rocker…my AC/DC t-shirt, ‘tude, and constant MISUSE of the “horns” symbol says so!” – I hate this. It’s bad enough that heavy metal fans are seen as complete idiots by the majority (and granted, most are), they have to make it worse by putting Drew Barrymore in “rocker” clothing and making her say shit like “rad".

Solution: Just pretend metal fans don’t exist…like you do in real life.

6. The “Hilarious” Training Montage – I’m sorry but endless shots of “mishaps” during the training of the wildly unprepared protagonist by the aged, wise old man/cameo celeb suck balls. Of course this didn’t stop me from putting this into one of my own scripts. Thankfully, it’s a farce…not that it’s a valid excuse.

Solution: Get rid of the seemingly mandatory 80’s power ballad that accompanies each scene.

5. The Hero Gets Shot…In The Arm ONLY – What the hell?! It appears that all movie bad guys have the worst aim ever. I’m talking Stormtrooper bad. How does every bad guy end up hitting the arm?!! HOW?!?! And do you have any idea how much a bullet hurts, even on the arm? I’ll give you a hint: A LOT. As in enough to make you incapacitated.

Solution: Aim for the head.

4. Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting! – So your hero is a martial artist of the highest degree, right? Well, bad news…so is everyone he’ll encounter. Except for his clumsy sidekick, of course. Oy.

Solution: Give some bad guys some guns. Bet you can’t kick a bullet.

3. Let’s Take Turns Shooting At Each Other – Want to make your action sequence really lame? Have your villains shoot then hide cueing your good guys to shoot at empty air for a bit…and repeat. Dullsville.

Solution: Have bullets go through whatever they are hiding behind.

2. The 100 Black Guys Pointing Guns At A Really Dorky White Guy Scene – Yeah, great way to continue “advancing” the role of Afro-Americans in cinema. And can white guys get any dorkier than the ones featured in these scenes? I swear that Screech was cooler than most of those guys.

Solution: Actually shot someone or have the white guy take out a bazooka.

1. The Cat/Annoying Friend Popping Out Of Nowhere “Fake Scare” – It’s not a horror movie if your main jumps depend on Carrot Top suddenly behind you, much less a cat.

Solution: Kill Carrot Top. It might solve all the problems in the world.