Editorials > Ten things you learn as a movie extra

This past year, I did a couple of days of extra work on Peter Berg's upcoming film The Kingdom, starring Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, and Jason Bateman.

Here are some of the things I learned.

1. Jamie Foxx is a dick.

One day, we were shooting one scene for about ten hours. The first half of that day consisted of all of the main actors (and I do mean all of them)  walking out of a building, talking to a guard, and investigating a hole, all while being filmed from above by a circling helicopter. While Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, and Jason Bateman were out in the 100-degree weather all day, Jamie Foxx sent a body double to do all of his scenes, until it came time to do closeups. He figured that since the scene was being shot from a helicopter, it wouldn't matter that he wasn't really there – and maybe it didn't, but the director and all of the other actors certainly thought it was worth doing. Jamie just decided to show up after half the filming was finished, carrying his absurdly-attractive girlfriend in tow. At one point I sat down in the shade next to the actors' entrance, and Jamie came out. Seeing that I was next to the door he had just exited, he looked at me and sarcastically asked, "Oh, so this is where we're all sitting now, huh?" As if I'd just sat there to be close to the main stars, instead of, you know, trying to avoid death from sunstroke. 

Also, there was a rumor going around the set that if you made direct eye contact with Jamie Foxx, he would notify the director and you'd be fired.

I'm not joking.

2. Chris Cooper is insanely cool.

He was nice to all of the other extras, and even if you were being a dick, he would just politely ask the director to say something to you. At one point one of the guys I was talking to went on a smoke break, and realized he didn't have a lighter. He asked aloud for one, and, in a room full of extras, crew members, and other non-stars, Chris Cooper handed my friend a zippo. Just a badass guy all around. 

3. Movie studios will intentionally hire unusually attractive women to keep the extras in line.

Seriously. We had one douchebaggy looking guy who would tell us what to do, and three or four really pretty girls to help us do it. I guess they assumed we wouldn't get fed up and leave if we were all trying to seduce the crew members. Needless to say, it worked.

4. Jason Bateman looks perpetually confused.

Seriously. Everytime I saw him, he looked like he was thinking, "What the fuck is going on? Where am I? Why did Arrested Development only last three seasons? I need a sandwich." 

5. Production assistants really don't like it when you ask them "Hey, what's that actor's name? The one from the King Kong remake?" 

Right after I asked him that, he said a few words into his walkie-talkie and got one of the other PA's to switch spots with him. He literally walked to the other end of the set in order to avoid my asinine questions.

Also, I found out from IMDB that the guy's name was Kyle Chandler. Thanks for nothing, snooty-production-assistant-guy! 

6. Jennifer Garner is,  like, three feet tall.

I could have put her in my pocket and walked away, and nobody would have noticed. Considering all the kung fu she did for Alias and Daredevil, I'm pretty sure she could kick my ass, but I'm positive I could school her in a one-on-one game of hoops.

7. Everyone involved who isn't an actor or the director is filled with enough faux-enthusiasm to make you puke.

Hey, guys! We're gonna have a great shoot today, so get out there and do great! You guys kick ass for coming out here! We couldn't have done it without you! Except we probably could have, but it would have been slightly more expensive to hire actual actors instead of clueless Arizonians who just want to be on the big screen! Jamie Foxx is this decade's Denzel Washington! I've been smiling for so long I don't know how to express any other emotions! Please let me die!

8. If you get heat stroke and begin to throw up, nobody will help you.

After only day of extra work, everyone was already convinced they were too good to help out the little people. Especially if the little person in question is me, and I'm puking up my stomach lining because I've been wearing 20 pounds of military gear, for ten hours straight, in direct sunlight, on a 120 degree day. Thanks, guys. Thanks for the help.

9. For some reason, the official weapon handlers don't like it when you pull out your fake gun and point it at people, shouting "Bang! You're dead!".

I can't imagine why. 

10. Jeremy Piven is nicer than you'd think.

Considering he seems to act exactly like his character from Entourage in real life, it was more than a little surprising to see Piven acting really cool to his personal assistant, as well as all the actors and whichever extras worked up the balls to start talking to him. I was like an inch away from telling him that he could kick Stephen Dorff's ass in a fight, but I pussied out at the last moment.  Damn these weak nerves of mine. Damn them, I say!