News > 'GI Joe' to Include Villain Named 'Cool Dude'...What?

Written by Anthony Burch 

Filmjunk reports some news that will doubtlessly be devastating to anyone who loved GI Joe: evidently, the latest version of the script for the Joe movie adaptation does not only excise the character of Cobra from the story entirely, but also replaces him with a baddie named…wait for it…"Cool Dude."

Yeah.

Considering this version of the script is being written by the guy who wrote Swordfish (the unfortunately named Skip Woods), this isn't entirely surprising, but it's still a pretty damn odd decision. 

"I had previously heard that the movie would be about the early formation of Cobra, but what I didn’t expect to hear was that the movie doesn’t feature Cobra at all. Instead, the villain of the movie is a guy named… get this… “Cool Dude”. I don’t see how a name like that could possibly make it into the final draft of a script… maybe it’s just a placeholder, but seriously, what the hell? He works with The Baroness (who is some hot chick with a cobra tattoo on her back) to launch a nuclear missile into Hong Kong killing thousands of civilians. G.I. Joe investigates, and eventually tracks the attack to an inside man at the C.I.A., who goes on to become Cobra Commander at the very end of the movie. Did I mention that there is a love triangle between Scarlett, Duke and Action Man? LAME. This script sounds like a total disaster, and even if the Transformers ends up sucking, at least they maintained some semblance of the original characters and story."

Oh, and there also won't be an Action Man character. Or guns. Or GI Joe. It'll actually just be a My Little Pony movie where one of the characters is coincidentally named Duke.